Updated: Sep 8
There are some people who just seem to have that star quality that when they walk into a room full of people everyone is simply drawn towards them. Everyone wants to know about them, talk to them, be with them and wants to be like them. The question is what is that star quality that makes a person so attractive, so memorable and so irresistible? It is the ‘charisma’ that such people have and forgettable people lack.
Charismatic people are likeable, interesting, energetic and pleasant to be with. They are intelligent, they have credibility and they exude positivity. There are two myths about charismatic people, firstly, they are born with such quality and secondly, they are perfect. Both these schools of thought are far from truth, in fact, charisma is a quality people are not born with, they develop it overtime and neither are charismatic people perfect, rather, they are aware of their imperfections and embrace them.
No matter it may seem that some people are born likeable or are born perfect (which is definitely not true), everyone can develop charisma. All you need to know and practice are some tips to improve your charisma. Here they are:
Love yourself, embrace your imperfections: Imperfections are not inadequacies. We tend to keep comparing ourselves with others which is the root cause of our complexities. You need to understand that ‘there is no one else like you and that is your superpower’. ‘Perfection’ is just an illusion, it is non-existent and hence, striving to be perfect is a futile chase. You should be your only comparison and try to be better than you were yesterday. Work towards achieving your best, bring out your best potential. You are born real and not perfect, love yourself that way and the world will love you back.
Do not be conversational narcissists: It’s good to love yourself but not to the extent of being a narcissist. People who keep talking and blabbing about self at any length irk the most. Forget about drawing people they drive them away. In fact people start avoiding narcissists. They lack empathy and have a fragile ego. They desire to be centre of attraction and considered superior. Deep down they suffer from inferiority complex. A charismatic person is always nice to others, looks pleased to see them, shows interest in them and is encouraging rather than finding faults with them.
Be self confident, have self belief: Self confidence is the belief in our abilities to accomplish any task no matter the odds, difficulties and adversities. Our success, by and large, is the result of our iron faith in ourselves translated into action. To develop self confidence you should take a good care of yourself, stay away from negative people, always visualise the best version of yourself, appreciate yourself for your achievements, maintain a good body posture and eye contact, learn new skills and help others.
Develop a confident body posture: A good body posture is the essence of style and charisma and never goes out of fashion. It makes you look attractive and confident, and as they say ‘if you are confident, you are beautiful’. For this you should make a conscious effort, make sure you sit, stand and walk in an upright position, with your stomach in, chest out and shoulders pulled back.
Be cheerful and positive: no one likes people who are pessimists, keep complaining and moaning. Cheerful people have an infectious smile. They are much more charming, they look younger, more attractive and confident. To be more charismatic, try to show enthusiasm, zest, liveliness, aliveness. These qualities should reflect on your face and in your voice. An enthusiastic person spreads positivity and is welcomed everywhere.
Give a genuine smile: A smile is the most visible evidence of cheerfulness, enthusiasm, positivity and confidence. A smile has the power to win hearts, make others smile back, get you through awkward situations, make you instantly likeable and help you get more opportunities. Always look pleased to see people and give them a genuine smile, it will benefit you in unexpected ways.
Practice Eye contact: A good eye contact makes your smile look genuine. It speaks volumes about a person’s self confidence, sincerity, credibility and transparency. Such people are trust-worthy and have a genuinely magnetic personality. Mind you, it is not easy to maintain an eye contact. It comes to a person either naturally or with practice. Whatever be the case you have to learn and master the art of maintaining a good eye contact.
Live with a purpose in life: There is something irresistibly hot and attractive about people who have a goal in life and work conspicuously towards it. Their positivity and enthusiasm is reflected in their body language and draws people towards them. Goal setting is a prerequisite of success. Hence, set a goal for yourself and do something every single day to achieve that goal. People with a legitimate purpose in life are not only liked but are also respected by others.
Stay away from gossip: People tend to think that gossiping helps them to bond well with others. When, in fact, no one likes people who talk rubbish. Moreover, when you say mean and nasty things about others they stick to you as much as they do to the person you are gossiping about. It can have a telling effect on your reputation and likeability quotient, after a point people start avoiding gossip mongers. Hence, do not gossip.
Charismatic people generally make great leaders. They are full of zeal, empathetic, intelligent, have credibility and great interpersonal and communication skills. They are adaptable and use a variety of styles, to suit the circumstances, to deal with people. It is often seen that successful people have a rock solid charisma or we can say charismatic people are often successful. If you follow the tips here, with some efforts and practice you can build or improve your charisma too.