Updated: Aug 27
Being liked by someone is one of the greatest feelings in the world. Whether it is a leader, entrepreneur, employee, friend or spouse, everybody wants to be liked by others. Our likeability affects our success both in personal and professional life. It is also important for our overall mental well being.
‘I like you’, are the most powerful words a person wants to hear, in fact, more powerful than ‘I love you’ and ‘your salary has been credited to your bank account’ (ok the second one is still the sweetest). This is because “Likeability is the greatest predictor of popularity and social acceptance in a group of adults, more important than wealth, status or physical attractiveness”, John Kinnell.
If you are highly likeable—you will be offered more opportunities, your subordinates will trust you and follow you as their leader, you will have a good relationship with your significant other, you will have many friends and you will never feel lonely, in your office it will be easier for you to work in a team as you will be readily accepted by other members and as they say “more work, more success”, your efforts will be recognised and appreciated, students will attend your classes and score well if you are a teacher, as an election contestant you are more likely to get higher number of votes. In short, highly likeable people outperform those who are not as liked by others. Being likeable is not just nice but a need to have. Hence, make likeability your priority.
Tips to improve your likeability quotient
Smile more often: Smiling is the stepping stone to likeability. It is contagious and lifts the mood of others. It makes you more approachable and draws people to you. So make sure to give a genuine smile while greeting others.
Be joyful: People like the company of those who are joyful and spread laughter rather than those who keep complaining. For this you should take control of your own life rather than letting others dictate you. When you live the life of your own choice you will not have any complaints.
Like more people: The mathematics is simple, more the people you like more people will like you. We all like people who like us.
Express your liking: We often hide our feeling of liking someone because of the fear that we will not be liked back. This creates a never-ending loop, we do not show we like them, they do not show that they like us and no one knows who likes whom.
Keep your commitments: Live up to your promises and commitments whether it is in your personal relationships or professional. This will make you a trustworthy and reliable person and thereby lifting your likeability quotient. Stay away from committing anything that you are not sure of fulfilling.
Show gratefulness: Show gratitude to people who have helped you in any way to let them know that their contribution is important to you. This will make them feel valued and in return will like you.
Lend a helping hand: Try to help others as often as possible. This will not only make you more likeable but will also prove to be beneficial in the long run. You will always have a lot of people to support you if ever you will need help.
Stay away from gossip: People tend to think that gossiping helps them to bond well with others when in fact, no one likes people who talk rubbish. To keep up your reputation and likeability stay away from gossip.
Similarity attraction effect: when you meet new people make sure that first few conversations should involve highlighting the similarities between the two of you. We tend to like people who share the same interests or taste as us.
Be real: Be who you are. People like sincerity, transparency and understanding more than extrovertedness, smartness and attractiveness.
Maintain eye contact: When we maintain a good eye contact while conversing with others it shows how much we value and appreciate them and it also talks volumes about our own sincerity and transparency.
Have a purpose in life: This is one factor that attracts people towards you and has the longest effect on your likeability. Set a goal in your life and work conspicuously towards it. People with a legitimate purpose in life are not only liked but also respected by others.
All these points demonstrate that value and appreciation are the main factors of likeability but of all these the most important is to like your own self first when we like ourselves we feel beautiful and confident because we value and appreciate everything that is ours be it our own body, our life, our work or our family.