• READERS' OAK WEEKLY

Parenting: How You Teach Subconsciously

How would you feel if your 13 months old kid starts climbing the stairs on his own, if your 15 months old knows the alphabet, A to Z, if your 17 months old can count till 10, and if your 18 months old can recite ‘Gayatri Mantra’ after you? Knock! Knock! All of it, without you putting in any deliberate effort. These may be very tiny things to take a note of, but for parents (and yes, both of them) they mean a lot.


W.E.B. DuBois says, “Children learn more from what you ARE than what you TEACH”.

So, if on a day you see your little munchkin saying ‘arre yaar’ then please don’t panic. They must have heard it from you somewhere. Today let’s explore a couple of options on how to trick your little ones. Yes, tricking today’s children is thorny enough, but there is no harm in giving it a shot. But, before we move forward, you need to soak in a few things.

Ever wondered why your zillion ‘NOs’ fail to make an impact on the young mind? Why, despite multiple attempts they tend to do what you don’t want them to do? Each time you say NO, you make a deliberate effort to teach them something. Contrary to this, if they watch you doing the same thing, where you involve the kids also, they adapt to things more smoothly.

For instance, preach them not to toss the toys all over the floor or get a stacking basket, put the toys inside it with their help, ask them to run around and collect all the toys except 1 or 2 they want to play with. Make sure you make it a routine to jointly clean the place. The practice will subconsciously make an impact and they will gradually understand that we are supposed to keep our place clutterfree.


Deliberate Efforts Vs Subconscious Teaching


The universal subconscious learning, that 90% parents experience, is, kids calling their parents by their name. It happens when the child listens to other family members calling their parents by their names and not ‘mumma’ and ‘papa’. It was indeed a unique experience, hearing our names from our own child. But that’s perfectly fine. It is a part of the process you cannot skip.

Another biggest struggle is to teach kids to greet. We tell them to greet the elders a thousand times but all our efforts go in vain.

Lesson learnt: Calling each other by their name is okay. But greeting and basic etiquettes should not be bared from your day-to-day life.

Reality Check: Start greeting the family members in the morning and before bed time. Develop new habits for your next generation to follow.